There is apparantly no nudity in Brazil. Certainly we have not been aware of any, total nudity , that is! There is however a great appreciation for the body beautiful, and a great willingness to show as much of it as possible, within the confines of their legal limits. The National costume for women, is of course the "Boude floss " bikini.. (there just is no other description, in any other language, which describes the item quite as well!) For those of you not familiar with this very descriptive Afrikaans term, I will do my best! One has to start off with the kind of "Itsy Bitsy, Teeny Weeny" bikini that made Frank Sinatra go "AAAAHHHHH", when he sang about the "Girls on Ipanema!"
Then one removes the little triangle on the back that tries to cover the derier, and replace it with a single strand of Dental Floss, which connects the bottom of the front itsy triangle, with the waistband , such that the ladies neat little butt becomes an extension of her lovely long legs! Well, thats the theory, at any rate! And to be sure, there are loads of beautiful bodies on display, offering healthy old men of my inclination, opportunities to drool over their particular pre-delictions! I am un- ashamably a legs man! Others , I know ,are boobs and bum men, not I hasten to add, that there is anything wrong with that! Its just that I can still remember watching the most Beautiful Legs in the World, ( Steffi Graf), playing Chrissy Evert , in the Wimbledon Final, and perpetually losing track of the score!
Now, keen observer that I am, it does not escape me, that the Golden, the Bronze, the Coffee, and the Ebony, beat the hell out of the transparant cutworm White, no matter how well put together they are! It should also be pointed out, that these thousands of girls displaying the body beautiful, are nevertheless, a very, very small minority in the scheme of things!! The only onepiece bathing costume I have seen in Brazil, was being worn by a very serious competitive swimmer in full training, in the Club Naval Olympic pool! She would have looked great in a Boude Floss ! But the point is, that the vast majority of women wearing these bikini's, simply dont give a fig!
There they are, any number of orange peel butts, of all shapes and sizes, soaking up the sun, with their equally miniscule tops, totally at peace with the world, and with themselves!
The beaches are a focal point of Brazilian life, and all boast beach soccer fields, Volley ball courts, Foot Volley courts, parallel bars, and all manner of playgrounds for their men, to strut their stuff, and impress the female audience. The seriously wealthy, of course use different tricks, such as the enormous "Lanchero's" and Luxury Power craft , to attract their women. It certainly seems to work, because it would appear that these luxury boats cannot start, without at least one or two elegant pieces of "Deck Jewelry" adorning their foredecks in the national costume. But , whether they use their finely chisled bodies, their athletic prowess, or their mighty cheque books and charm, the men too, adhere to their own style of swimming attire.
The young dudes, 14-17yrs, stick to their "Boardies", and Surf shorts. Thats because they rarely seem to partake in any serious sport, apart from tongue wrestling,or face sucking, which is something of a fad here. Not that it is a male dominated sport... on the contrary, the most active participants seem to be their girlfriends, and this could have something to do with their need to wear Baggies at all times! Once the men hit twenty, they graduate to the tight, skin fitting, lycra swim shorts, that my son Steve calls "Budgie Smugglers", or if he's in a generous mood, "Hamster Hammocks"! In the same way that the Boude Floss Bikini leaves little to the imagination, much the same can be said about the Budgie Smuggler! They present the goods, as it were, like merchandise on a supermarket display rack, with only the price tag missing!
So there we have it ! A nation who have perfected the art of wearing nothing, whilst avoiding nudity at all costs ! Methinks this false modesty is just a giant con! I mean , how could this much loved and world famous landmark be called a Sugarloaf?
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